Of course, I’m referring to The English Roses:

Like many children of celebrities, Madonna tells us, the Material Girl’s daughter, Lourdes, had a problem: The other kids teased her about her mother.

As child-rearing quandaries go, this is a toughie. What’s a celebrity to do?

Madonna’s answer was to write a children’s book that preaches tolerance toward girls who are prettier, smarter, kinder, better at sports, and generally more special than you.

Actually, a version of this story with college professors instead of 12 year-old girls would be socially redeeming.