The UN inspectors were total idiots if they couldn’t find the giant mutant scorpions that Pravda reports were created for Saddam by aliens:

The aliens took ordinary desert scorpions and used their bio-engineering to grow the scorpions to giant size. Scorpions of a cow-size! They are wonderful watchdogs: they blend in with the desert, swiftly and silently move on their warm-blooded prey for a decisive attack. Luckless intruders hear just some strange sound from behind stones, then a pincer crushes their necks, another pincer crushes their legs; then the victims is slammed to the ground and beaten with a barbed tail six or seven times. Death comes almost immediately.

It’s like one of those episodes of Star Trek, where the landing party consists of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhuru, Sulu, and someone you’ve never seen before. It’s kind of obvious who’s going to get eaten by the giant, pulsating rock.

I haven’t cross-checked this against the Kay Report yet, but it’s on the Internet, so it must be true.

[via Science Wars]