As usual, The Onion has the story:
Jesus Demands Creative Control Over Next Movie
HOLLYWOOD, CA—After watching Mel Gibson’s The Passion Of The Christ Monday, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ announced that He will demand creative control over the next film based on His life…. “There have been a lot of films based on My life, and pretty much all of them have gotten it wrong,” Christ said. “Just look at Godspell—what the heck was going on there?”…
Christ said He considered returning to the physical world to make an accurate film depiction of His life for years, but seeing The Passion prompted Him to finally descend from heaven, meet with His agent Ronald Thatcher, and demand that He be attached as a producer on any future projects.
“Ron has a history of telling Me that the filmmakers ‘totally understand’ the Word Of God, and that the project is going to be ‘fabulous,'” Christ said. “But when it comes out, it’s all wrong, and Ron claims everything fell apart in post-production. At that point, there’s nothing left for Me to do but say, ‘Okay, fine. I forgive you all.’ Well, next time, I’ll be shepherding the project through from casting to final edit to marketing.”
[To the tune of Peter Gabriel, “Sandstorm,” from the album Passion: Music For The Last Temptation Of Christ.]