I was too busy watching Game 7 (okay, that’s a lie, I was working) to catch this:
Bush Wins Secret Fourth Debate
Kerry Not Notified of Time, Place
President George W. Bush notched his first debate victory early Sunday morning, winning handily in a fourth presidential debate that was kept secret from his Democratic rival, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass).
The debate, which was held at 2 AM Sunday morning in the basement of the White House and moderated by Fox News personality Bill O’Reilly, was a must-win affair in the eyes of the Bush campaign strategists who planned it….
While aides to Sen. Kerry complained that the debate did not count since Mr. Kerry was kept totally in the dark about its time and place, Mr. Rove said, “They can spin this any way they want, but a win is a win.”…
Elsewhere, television station owner Sinclair Broadcasting found itself at the center of yet another controversy today after it ordered all of its affiliates to broadcast a film entitled “John Kerry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.”
Earlier, this same trustworthy source reported that “independent candidate Ralph Nader said today that he was considering dropping out of the presidential race to focus on wrecking Christmas instead.”
This was after “Nader’s eleventh-hour decision to run for president of Afghanistan has plunged that nation’s first democratic election into chaos, raising fears that a final electoral result may not be known for months, if ever:”
Traveling to Kabul with his entire campaign staff, consisting of two sophomores on leave from Oberlin College [ed: that’s a touch of genius], Mr. Nader barnstormed his way across Afghanistan, hoping to pick up support from those Afghans displeased with the choice of candidates in their historic first election.
The complexities of the modern world….