I never knew Britain was so dangerous:

Crumbs: half of Britons injured by their biscuits on coffee break, survey reveals

An estimated 25 million adults have been injured while eating during a tea or coffee break – with at least 500 landing themselves in hospital, the survey revealed.

The custard cream biscuit was found to be the worse offender to innocent drinkers.

It beat the cookie to top a table of 15 generic types of biccy whose potential dangers were calculated by The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.

Hidden dangers included flying fragments and being hurt while dunking in scalding tea through to the more strange such as people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit or fallen off a chair reaching for the tin.

Yet another good reason to stick to my new diet. But given my usual food preferences when I’m on the road, it’s a miracle I haven’t hurt myself already.

[To the tune of Pearl Jam, “Little Wing / Maggot Brain,” from the album Live 1995 (I give it 4 stars).]