The newest franchise in the Real Housewives of Wherever— Beverly Hills this time, folks!– is out, and Troy Patterson has a review:

“This town runs on status.” This remark inspires a sincere query: Are there any towns that don’t run on status? Bodie? Chernobyl? Maybe—maybe—Lego Town? Evading such questions, the RH of BH intro speeds to a comment on evanescence and an assertion of supremacy: “It can all go away in an instant, but if you can play the game, there’s nowhere better to live.” Come off it. What of Santa Monica? Malibu? Lego Castle?

Normally the reviews of shows like this are enough for me, but then I caught this:

Next comes Camille, the wife of Kelsey Grammer. “It’s time for me to come out of my husband’s shadow and shine,” she declares. This she does, not unlike a distress flare or, given her recent estrangement from the actor, an exit sign…. Then we have the sister act of Kim and Kyle, former child actresses, each of whom appeared in Escape to Witch Mountain [ed: Kyle has an uncredited appearance]. Kim racked up further credits on The Love Boat, Magnum, P.I., and CHiPs (“Ponch, I’ve hurt so many people!”), a resume she believes qualifies her as an “icon,” which is cute. I much prefer Kyle, impressed that she has gracefully aged into a luxury-shopper deft at negotiating quid pro quos with the man holding the purse strings. “Let’s make a deal,” says her husband, crying uncle. “For every $1,000 you spend, I play an hour of golf.”

For those who don’t know, the orphanage in Escape to Witch Mountain was Peninsula School. My wife was there when they shot the movie. The place looks pretty much the same.

[To the tune of The Doors, “Light My Fire,” from the album The Doors (a 5-star song, imo).]